I was thinking about belonging while listening to the song "San Angelo" by Third Day! To me it's a belonging song. "Forever seem so distant", "I miss my home", "When you surrounded you can still feel so alone ", "I find myself questioning this place.". I mean, for someone who at the age of 23 already lived in 5 different cities, two different countries and 16 different houses belonging is something really difficult and home is a word that is "million miles away". Where is home? Where am I from? Sometimes I can't tell, sometimes I can't even tell my name because I don't know anymore which language I'm speaking (it shouldn't be difficult to say your own name, but when you're all the time switching from three different languages it can get pretty confusing even to say your name).
Well, it's a difficult life stile to be nomad, you go somewhere, leaving everything you had till that moment behind, including family sometimes, you make friends there, then you move and start all over again, if you're moving abroad it's harder, because it's more difficult to be accepted, it takes some time, and then when you get accepted you move again, leaving all you got there behind, including friends.... And at the end you just feel alone and not belonging anywhere, it's a strange feeling. But you know, what I've come to realize is that it doesn't matter where I go or where I've already been, I'll simply never belong, because I don't belong to this world anyway. Everything that always upsets me everywhere I go will continue to upset me at any place, because it's always the things that goes against what I have found to be the propose of my life that upsets me.
At the end what matters is not find a place where you belong, but find Whom you belong to, the only one that can makes you feel like you belong, the only one that knows your heart, that cares about you, that likes you no matter what, that never goes away, the one you never leave behind. Once we learn to stop trying to belong to this world and just belong to Jesus, life becomes easier (not life itself, but the way we live it), because even if we'll never in this lifetime feel like we belong somewhere, we belong to someone, and not just anyone, but the only one that can make we feel really belonging.
God Bless!!!
P.S: If someone ever read this, sorry for the bad English, I'm really not in the mood of trying good writing today!!
