I've been thinking about one thing that I wanted to write here this past week, but I can't remember it right now, so I'll just write whatever is in my mind, I don't even know if I'll ever publish it anyway.
Well, I'm sick and that makes me sad, my throat gets bad at least 5 times every year, and then together always comes a flu, and this time it's right in the middle of my exams at the University and in the week when I finally started jogging... I have much more things to study for the exam I have on Monday (which is already my second chance, I did not make it at the first) and I'll surely not have time to study the way I wanted... then the will of studying comes and goes all the time, specially when I have a flu, I get really bad at studying. Things that should not be bothering me are bothering me too much these days; I might go to Germany for the TeenStreet, but I did not pay the initial fee yet, so everything is too uncertain; then there is the United Tour in Europe, which will be in September, what gives me some time to decide anything, even because I can't decide anything now anyway, but then the fear of losing the cheap flights take over and it bothers me so much. I mean, the fight between what I want and what I can do is killing me. I want to pass the exams, but to do so I need to study, but sometimes I just can't, and then I get angry at myself, because how may I want to pass without studying? And then I go back to the fact that I don't even like what I'm studying, so what is the point in all the effort in the first place. This days I've been also feeling the need to build a family, to get married, to have someone to share all of my dreams, to have children... and the fact that I don't see it happening anytime soon bothers me too... (I was really pessimist this day, everything will work out just fine, why worrying, it's useless)
Time has been passing so slow and so fast at the same time these days.
